#lgbt

When Your Weight Becomes Someone’s Tricky & Confusing Fetish

No matter what your background is, albeit straight, gay, bi and everything in between, we all have aspects to another person that we like.  When it comes to the sexual aspects of a partner or partners, it can often lead to the term “fetish” which can either turn someone on or completely off depending on what it particularly is.  As someone who has always been a bigger dude, my weight or “huskiness” has been a particular weakness in other guys who find me attractive, but some take it to extremes that lead me to ask the question: Are you into me for me, or my weight?

Let’s take for instance the hilarity I find in online apps and guys who just randomly message me on Facebook with photos and questions they would never say in person.  Being greeted with lines like “God, you are a cute & chunky fella” to “You are hot for your size”, isn’t exactly something that’s going to turn me on in an instant, yet it does for other guys.  It gets them off knowing that someone finds them sexually appealing because they have weight to them.  For me, it’s a bit confusing as I’m OK with being a bigger dude, but not so sure that I like hearing that from someone else as the potential sole reason to why they are reaching out to me in the first place.

I have detailed this in other articles where my weight goes up and down and up and down, and in doing so brings in a new portion of gay men who find me hot with the weight off, and shuns away men who preferred when my waist size was a couple of rungs up. There is also that interesting middle space where you are “not a cub, not yet a chub”in sort of a Britney reference where your playing field is somewhat open to many, but when it comes down to it, does it make you feel good when someone is objectifying you to a degree because of your size?

I had a situation where I hung out with a guy out while on vacation once.  We had a better friendship than anything, yet when we were intimate, he would spend his time literally grabbing my stomach fat and other areas as opposed to holding me or other ways to be intimate.  It was odd, kind of hurt, and did nothing for me besides have it become a bit painful, yet he loved it.  It got him off.  It got me annoyed. 

He would try to explain at length that he just found me so attractive and loves that aspect on a guy, yet for me it just didn’t make me feel good.  The gay community has a sense of doing that when it comes to weight, so it’s not like this is anything new for me and many others out there.

Weight and the gay community kind of go together like peanut butter and jelly in that it's a topic that is discussed endlessly in a variety of ways.  We all struggle with our own version of how we want to look for not only a desired partner in life (or for a night), but also to the community as a whole. 

Many of us expect to find ourselves on media-driven shows in the movies and television, hence the fierce backlash of LOGO’s show “Fire Island”, in which a good portion of the community complained that it once again highlighted the stereotypical “in shape” type of dudes. It leads to a complicated viewpoint from guys who are of a certain size who can’t seem to figure out if this is what society deems they should be or if they should ignore it and not feel that the media should determine how they should look.

Ultimately, is this insecurity in my own looks? Probably.  I might just hate that I don’t enjoy being looked at because of my weight, and maybe I should be in better shape and whatnot. That’s for me to decide, and not some random dude at a bar or online though.  This community can be so built on sex and top/bottom/vers appeal and so much more, that it can really break someone down who simply wants so much more than to be viewed as in that way. 

Maybe it comes down to this: if you enjoy it, have at it.  However if you are in a situation with a partner where it makes you feel uncomfortable, speak up.  Don’t allow someone’s fetish to spark your insecurities, its not fair for you in the moment and in life.


 

*** The Adipophilia Pride Flag show above is a proposed fat fetishism flag created in 2011 by Kevin Seguin for use by the associated fat fetish community. It is intended to describe the wide variety of different fetishes represented by the community, and is meant to represent fat fetishists of all genders and sexual orientations. - Wikimedia Commons.com

 


This was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject.

A Better Understanding of the Term 'Empathy' in the Gay Community

 

This is a contributing piece done by Ali Mushtaq, Ph.D. He was the winner of Mr. Long Beach Leather 2016 and has been featured in several prominent publications including The New York TimesManhattan Digest, the Los Angeles Times and Instinct Magazine. You can learn more about him by clicking here.


We live in a world where many well-meaning people do bad things to others. They didn’t “mean” to do it. Often, this is because of something called, “privilege.” When we have privilege, we forget the needs other people that do not have privilege (minority groups). For example, in a recent article I penned for GayLA, I wrote about multiple experiences with discrimination. In these experiences, I’ve dealt with microaggressions to overt forms of discrimination.  If you are one of those people who “accidentally” marginalizes minority groups, and if you care about the well-being of other people, you need to remember a concept called, “empathy.”

What is Empathy?

There is no way anyone could have the same experiences as anyone else. There is no way anyone could read anyone else’s mind. But people have empathy. According to Psychology Today, “Empathy is the experience of understanding another person's thoughts, feelings, and condition from their point of view, rather than from your own.” So, if someone is accusing you of being racist, sexist, transphobic, sizeist, ageist, etc., this means that while you don’t think you’ve done something wrong, it doesn’t matter. You have done something to hurt someone. You are also helping to reinforce patterns that hurt people. Here are five practical tips for you to have more empathy:

Empathy Tip # 1: Shut Up, Listen, and Ask Questions

If someone is accusing you of marginalizing them in some way, try listening. Immediately getting defensive does not solve any problem. In fact, it makes you look guilty.  Try withholding your perspective, and instead, ask about statements you are not sure about.  The goal here is to understand the marginalized person’s experience. The other person is trying to communicate something, and for some reason, the message is being lost. Remember, you have privilege, so you must eventually realize that their experience is not yours. Remember, your goal is to affirm their experiences regardless of any reservations you might have.

Note: When trying to understand the other person, do not question their reality or experiences.

Empathy Tip 2: You are Making Choices that You Can Control

We all have biases. We all stereotype. We all live in vast structures beyond our control. Social scientists make careers about studying these processes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t hold yourself accountable for your actions!  When you choose to blame ‘stereotypes,” “society,” or the minority in question, realize that you are making a choice. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been told “It’s not our fault. It’s not the [insert gay subculture here] community’s fault, but it’s society!” This is a move to derail the conversation away from your actions. It also takes away the community’s responsibility to deal with them problem collectively. Here, you are choosing to live in ignorance and withhold your empathy just because someone is different than you are. Rather than listening, you are choosing to shut down. So take responsibility for your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. Also remember, the goal of any community is to make room for its most marginalized people. So not only do the individuals themselves bear responsibility, but the community also has some responsibility to ensure everyone is treated fairly.

Empathy Tip 3: Self-Reflection

A lot of social problems are institutional. That means that people have been antagonizing minority groups in different settings for ages. As a result, a lot of problems are simply naturalized within any given place. To fix this, we have to be better about making choices. We need ask ourselves these questions: “Is there any way I can help increase diversity in this space?”  “Have I done enough?” “Is there anything I can do?” “Has anyone pointed out any minority problems?” Specifically, “Are there minorities pointing out that I am doing something wrong?” Promoters for LGBTQ events and bar owners: go through ads from the last year. Ask yourselves, “How many models of [insert minority group] do I have in this year? What kinds of body types are they? Am I really being inclusive?”

Empathy Tip 4: Learn to Apologize

We all mess up. However, as someone who has privilege, you’re taught that you never mess up. You’re also taught that others are being “overly sensitive” and that they’re “being divisive”. No, just stop. Apologize. The most affirming thing you can do for someone, especially a minority, is to apologize. More will be written about this later.

Empathy Tip 5: Do Your Homework!

For a lot of people, empathy takes effort! Focus your time on reading about experiences on marginalized people. Learn about the kinds of language or behaviors that offend marginalized people. Unless you pay them (or their workshops/classes), they individually do not owe you explanations about how to be a better ally. You should use a magic device, called “Google,” and read about the various ways marginalized groups experience their lives. If you happen to have a marginalized friend that would be comfortable to share their experience, ask their permission, and get their perspective. But remember, it’s not their job to educate you.

After reading this, hopefully you start to understand that people are just human beings (like you)! As human beings, people like to be treated with respect. If you’re not actively trying to respect other people, then you are an asshole.  


Once again, this is a contributing piece done by Ali Mushtaq. You can learn more about him by clicking here. This was his opinion and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other contributing writers.

London’s Heathrow Airport Declares Its Love of the LGBT Community

Who knew that a simple trip through an airport could mean so much to the LGBTQ community?

Heathrow Airport has embraced the colors of the rainbow in celebration of Pride in London and commissioned a unique interpretation of the iconic flag, created with the help of 6,000 passengers’ kisses. Populated by staff and passengers the flag will now fly above Terminal 2: The Queen’s Terminal until the end of July.

The unveiling of the flag is part of a week-long celebration of Pride, with Heathrow showing its support for the LGBT+ community and the colourful spirit of the event, ready to welcome 5% more passengers into London in the week ahead of Pride than the same time last year.

The piece of ‘kissing art’ - created with kisses rather than traditional paintbrush strokes - denotes the famous rainbow-colored flag and has been populated by international passengers. Each passenger placed their own individual ‘kiss’ stamp onto the crowd-sourced artwork, to show their own support for LGBT+ rights.

The flag started life in Terminal 2 on July 1st, positioned in departures, with passengers able to get involved and donate their mark of love for Pride by stamping their kiss in a choice of vibrant red, orange, yellow, green, blue or purple lipstick, onto the blank canvas.

The artwork was quickly populated, with 84,303 passengers passing through the terminal, taking 6,000 kisses to be completed, with the final kisses donated by staff across the airport’s terminals as it took a tour of the control tower, fire station and BA Crew Centre, before being sealed and placed on the flag pole.

Now complete, the flag has been flown outside Terminal 2 and will remain on display until the end of the month for passengers to enjoy and capture on camera as they travel through the airport.

The Heathrow Pride takeover also sees the Heathrow logo receive a Pride makeover and many digital screens across the airport transformed into vibrant displays of rainbow colors.

"We’ve been getting into the spirit of Pride right across the airport to show our support for London and the rest of the UK, where diversity and equality are so strongly celebrated and equally valued across our employees and passengers alike," Carol Hui, Chief of Staff at Heathrow Airport commented. Many of the LGBT+ community travel into London, to celebrate this incredible festival so we wanted to give them a warm welcome by, quite literally, flying the flag for Pride.”

For more information on Pride in London, click here. For more on Heathrow Airport, click here.

Not A Story Of Never Been Kissed, But Instead, Do People Want To Kiss Me? Love Me?

We have some great contributing writers that will send us a thoughtful, newsworthy, entertaining, social commentary, or some other type of piece once in a while.  This most recent piece we just received from C.L. Frederick came at a very timely point. I was taking a couple of days to get to it and in the meantime, we posted 43% of LGBs Not Comfortable Kissing Someone HIV+ (July 6, 2018). We had a great amount of comments on Facebook about this UK-based Terrence Higgins Trust study, but it felt like there was a narrative missing.  What about those that want to be kissed, but are HIV+?  Don't we all deserve some love? Here's C.L. Frederick's piece.


Some people believe in love at first sight, I didn’t until I met him.  Men had always been my kryptonite, but now I had become immune to their charms.  At this point in my life and history, it takes a rebel with a heart of gold to cause a blip on my radar, but those men are a rarer find than the Hope Diamond.  I had given up on ‘hope’ that men like this exist in the world.  My greatest fear was that I was doomed to date men that bored me.  I also dreaded the reality of being HIV positive and still trying to swim in the dating pool.  After a handful of let downs related to being positive and dating HIV negative men, I thought I  was scared to the point of no return.  That was all about to change.

The first time we met was when we were both shopping for jock straps.  Our shared ‘showgirl’ mentality brought us together.  I noticed a figure stand next to me.  I wanted to be indifferent and not give him my attention, but something came over me.  I gave into temptation and I am glad that I did. 

His boyish smile greeted me as I said hello.  It didn’t register to me at first that I was smiling right back.  Our eyes never shyly looked away.  He was a beaut!  Taller than me and an athletic, meaty body.  Breathlessly, I wanted to be held by him.  His face displayed his sly charm.  Those beautiful, big brown eyes and curly, light brown hair further reinforced the smile on my face.  He had me hook, line, and sinker.  We shared a brief, silly conversation then, with sore cheeks, parted ways.  Here is the sitch, he left without giving me his number and I was too proud to ask for his.  I cursed out Jesus in my head.  “Why the fuck did you bring him into my life only to have him disappear as quickly as he came into it?”  My apologies to Jesus.

At times, the universe is a cruel bitch of a matchmaker.  She allows us to cross paths with people that we want to keep in our lives forever, only to have them stay for just a moment.  Maybe I was having one-sided feelings and he did not feel the same way or maybe our interaction was flirty and he was into me as well.  I couldn’t count the number of sighs that I gave as I headed home.  I was trying to build up the strength to not think about him again.  I failed.

Months went by and I never forgot our chance interaction.  Thinking about him always put a smile on my face, but pained my heart.  Then, as fate would have it, we met again.  I was ‘box meat’ at the dick dancer bar he was having drinks at.  He watched me dance my entire set as he sat with a ‘friend.’  I jumped off the stage, my pearly whites on full display as were his.  We had our reintroduction and with my hand firmly feeling his shoulder he introduced me to his boyfriend.  Cue the Alanis Morissette song “Ironic.”  I returned to cursing out Jesus in my head.  “You fucking kidding me with this Jesus?”  Again, apologies to Jesus. 

When his boyfriend stepped aside to use the restroom, it was on.  There couldn’t have been a pair as flirty as us in the world during ‘boyfriends’ pee break.  We touched, pulled close, exchanged numbers, added each other on social media, and confessed our affection for each other.  The soon to be ‘ex-boyfriend’  must have taken an eternity to pee, isn't it ironic indeed.

As we got to know each other he made me feel like, in his eyes, I was the most beautiful man alive.  We both had a touch of crazy in us and that was a comfort to me.  I don’t bat an eye when I disclose to potential love interests my HIV positive status, but I found myself nervous to tell him.  When you care about someone you don't want to disappoint them and you find that being vulnerable is a loving act.  It was never a concern for him.  He valued my humanity without limitations.  No one had ever made me feel that safe and unashamed.  It is an overwhelmingly happy experience when the man you care about doesn’t play into the stigma of being HIV positive.  We were both damaged people who just ‘got’ each other.  At last, I had found my equal.  It didn’t hurt that seeing him in a jockstrap always took my breath away.

Here is where things got complicated.  We had an intense chemistry and our sex was deeply intimate.  I found him to the be most perfect man there has ever been for me, but we weren’t to last.  Our personal struggles did us in.  Deep down we wanted to love each other, but we both needed to work on ourselves.  The curse of damaged people is timing and this just wasn’t our time.  Our hearts were both broken, but we cared enough about each other to make some tough decisions.  Losing ‘the one’ has been the greatest loss of my life.  We remain as close as ever and he is my ‘constant,’ and always will be.  We are still very much in each other’s lives and our affection is just as strong now as it was then.  The love we had for each other didn’t die when we parted ways and I am thankful we did not give up on our connection.  I am proud of us for acting like adults.

Some might ask why I chose to share this story.  I believe that relationships are the most important aspect of the gay experience.  In gay culture, relationships, both friendships and romantic, have a tendency to become disposable which can create residual emotional scars that add to mental health struggles in gay men.  Even if a cherished relationship ends, it is possible not to lose the connection.  A healthy and solid friendship can still survive.  Value the person you were close to and if you loved them don’t throw them away like trash.

Layered into this realization is that there should never be shame when dating and being HIV positive.  Sometimes within our community we practice hypocrisy and that needs to change.  I will always cherish this past relationship because it was the first to help me realize I was worthy and that my status doesn't define my worth.  I do not know what the future holds for the two of us.  All that I know is we want to remain in each other’s lives.  When we both feel capable, reconciliation may become a possibility that we both would welcome with open arms.  Even if we do not end up together as a couple I am comforted by the fact that we never chose to say good bye.

Words by C.L. Frederick

Art Work by Clarione Gutierrez 
www.clarione.com   IG: @clarione   Twitter: @clarione   YouTube: /Clarione    FB: /byclarione


C.L. Frederick is an internationally published columnist, reporting on social issues affecting the LGBT community. His articles have been published by numerous national and international publications. A few of the outlets he has written for include The Phoenix Newsletter (Kansas City), DNA Magazine, Prism Magazine, Homoculture, Impulse Group, The Dallas Voice, and The Windy City Times (Chicago). As a writer, he is known for sharing his personal experiences dealing with being a HIV positive gay man and for documenting his journey from addict to being in recovery. He has had several featured acting roles on t.v. shows such as; Modern Family, Chicago Fire, Chicago P.D., Chicago Med, LA Hair, and Empire. As a male model, he has been featured in campaigns for Joe's Jeans, Quarter Homme, and Andrew Christian. He is single in his personal life, but has his Dimaggio. His greatest dream in life is to have a family and he will build that 'white picket fence' with his own two well manicured hands if he has to.

Openly Gay Artist Will Sheridan Breaks Down His New EP 'LexIcon'

Brooklyn's Will Sheridan, who also goes by GIANT, is a jack of all trades when it comes to being a life-sized version of what the word "fabulous" really is.

The 33-year-old was originally a major college basketball player at Villanova University in 2003-2007 before shifting gears and immersing himself in the entertainment world. During these years, he came out publicly at the age of 26 after retiring from basketball, which eventually became a must-see interview on ESPN's Outside The Lines.

Music has been his focal area for several years now, where he has released two critically-acclaimed efforts: his first full-length album called G.I.A.N.T. back in 2012 and an EP called Ngoma in 2010. Both of which highlighted his beautiful lyricism, great beats and persona that matches who he is in real life.

Now he's back with his latest effort entitled LexIcon, which is a breath of fresh air in the boring world we live in today when it comes to what the music industry puts out. I spoke with Will exclusively about Lexicon, why he would love to work with Nicki Minaj, and so much more. Take a look.

What inspired you to get into the music industry in the first place?

I always loved to freestyle rap in my free time in college. I also have an undying passion for writing. When I first moved to NYC, I wrote for Source Magazine. While covering artists such as Kid Cudi, Wale and Drake, I thought to myself I can do this too. I never thought of getting into the music industry. I thought I want to make music that represented my journey and my narrative. Ten years later, here I am.

How would you describe your overall sound?

Eclectic, Energetic, based in Hip Hop with House influence. 

Do you have anyone in your life that you consider to be your biggest musical role model?

I never had a role model beyond my mom. I’ve always felt like there’s no blue print for my success or happiness in my life. So, I’ve just followed my heart and did it. 

Tell us about your EP LexIcon and how it came to be.

LexIcon is a result of me constantly asking DJ Lorant, my friend, tour DJ, producer and label exec for beats. He sent me mystic Data and I knew upon first listen that it was special. Then I asked him if we could revisit Fundamentals, a record from my first EP, NGOMA. He agreed to rework the song and I wrote all new lyrics with all new flows and it turned out to be amazing. Then we decided to package it with an eclectic group of remixes from some amazing producers and Boop- we had an EP. The title comes from my love for words and is a play on #GIANT being an Iconic word user.

Do you have a preference over which of the two songs you like more?

I love them all equally. “Do You Have Any” and “Mystic Data” are high level art!

Is this EP part of something bigger in the works?

All of my work, when looking back, is cohesive and fits together even the unofficial records that are SoundCloud exclusives. I’m was working on a full LP about the struggles on my life journey since late 2016 til now, but really wanted to put out something more fun and upbeat to showcase my rhyming talents while also reminding people that I’m chasing legendary iconic status. Right now, LexIcon is the most important project of my life because through adversity, I’m still here, still queer and still making next level music while getting better and perfecting my craft.

Picture you are on stage and a surprise guest comes out to perform with you. Who would it be and why? They can be dead or alive.

Hands down Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj is my favorite. She has so many different styles and hands the best female rapper of All Time! I wish She would sign me- I’d love to even be her hype man because I know all the words to all her songs and if we did a song together I know it would be larger than life, actually it would be #GIANT and that’s FACTS!

I really love Jay Z, Kanye, Beyoncé, Busta Rhymes, Lauryn Hill and Missy Elliott. I honestly wish queer rappers would collaborate more, but I’ve realized who I want to work with does not want to work with me for whatever reason. So I push forward. 

What are your biggest hopes in your career?

I just want to tour.  I’d love to have people really embrace my music and my brand. I really feel that when I pop through people will look back and discover all the musical gems I’ve cooked up and appreciate the artist I am.

Check out the official link for Lexicon here. For more information on Will, you can follow him on Twitter here, and Instagram here.

Blake Mitchell Discusses A Scary Incident He Experienced After New York City Pride

Blake Mitchell's weekend at New York City Pride took a major turn for the worse after he left.

He was heading eastbound on a highway when he saw two semi-trucks nearly collide with one another on the opposite side of the road. In their effort to avoid a collision, one of the semi’s slammed into a passenger van in front of it. As a result, the van flipped on its side and proceeded to skid down the highway.

Blake went into action and, with the help of some strangers, pulled a father and his two daughters from the van. It was good timing, as the van had begun to leak gasoline and they were lucky to be able to pull them to safety without the wreckage igniting.

He talked about how this experience resonated with signs that are seeing all over NYC, primarily with the MTA: “If you see something, say something.” He breaks down how we should help each other out in situations like these, regardless of our social or political backgrounds, and how a little more kindness in the world can go a long way.

Way to go Blake. Watch the clip below:

 

 

Madonna Sends Out an Adorable Message to the LGBTQ+ Community for Pride Month

On Sunday, The Queen of Pop sent a message out to her gay fans for Pride Month.

Last August, Madonna moved, along with her six children, to Lisbon, where they reside in a 12-bedroom palace and former boutique hotel. She’s hard at work on a new album with Music and American Life producer Mirwais, but she took some time out for an Insta tribute to the LGBTQ+ as NYC Pride was at its peak:

“Until I can Share MY music… I’m sending Love from Lisbon! …missing NY and the fierceness of the LGBT community that gave me life from the moment I landed there!! For Me, Pride Month is every month! This [Queen] bows down to every Gay Boy that taught me a. New dance, how to dress, how to slay, To stand tall in the face of adversity to not give up hope, to own my inner bitch and to love my flaws! #loveislove #gratitude #pride -Madonna

In the short video, Madonna is singing along with Demi Lovato's track "Solo." The 59-year-old icon puckered up to blow kisses to her fans through a cat filter.

Madonna’s relationship with the LGBTQ+ community goes back to day one. Her first mentor was a gay man named Christopher Flynn, her ballet teacher. He introduced Madonna to the gay community of her native Michigan before encouraging her to walk away from her partial scholarship to the University of Michigan and move to Manhattan to pursue a career.

In a 2010 appearance on Ellen with Ellen DeGeneres, Madonna appeared to talk about bullying, and she said, quite bluntly:

“I wouldn’t have a career if it weren’t for the gay community.”

Check out the adorable Instagram post here: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkarIwIATsY/?utm_source=ig_embed

Cutie Gay Baker Huascar Aquino Competes on 'Chopped'

My face instantly lit up on Tuesday night when I saw that openly gay baker (and my good friend) Huascar Aquino was competing on the legendary food competition show Chopped.

Huascar's story is really one that is embedded in the American dream. I first got to know him three years ago after I reviewed a similar location in New York City (for a separate publication) and a mutual friend of ours recommended that I try his place as well. At the time it was called H Bake Shop (that spot has since closed and is now Huascar & Co. Bake Shop). So I took a friend to see what the fuss was about, and suffice to say, I left with the happiest smile on my face as what Huascar was able to create for us was truly unlike anything I have had before.

Born in the Dominican Republic, he moved to the United States a number of years ago where he developed a love for pastries by learning at the Internationally renowned French Culinary Institute Of New York City. Just a heads up this is the same place that LEGENDS in the culinary industry such as Bobby FlayDavid Chang & Dan Barber have gone to and where deans include just the run of the mill dynasties in their own rights like Jacques PepinJose Andrews and Jacques Torres are deans there.  You know, no big deal whatsoever. 

After his time at the FCI, he honed his abundance of talent at historic NYC locations like The Four Seasons and Landmarc, which then led to him opening up his own location a couple of years ago.  Oh, and one more thing.  Huascar won on the Food Network hit show Cupcake Wars back in 2013, in which the theme was for Jessica Alba’s brand The Honest Company. The win came with a sweet $10,000 dollar prize and national recognition, which is great for anyone regardless of what their field is. You can watch that episode here.

He officially opened up his second location, Huascar & Co. Bake Shop in early 2017, which has earned him a ton of fanfare and praise from food critics and people alike. His location has earned 4.5 stars on both Yelp and Facebook and with good reason. HIs sweets that he creates are out of this world amazing. If you are ever in New York City, please try his PB & J and Scarlet Velvet Cupcakes. It tastes better than a hot dude, no joke. 

Huascar competed on Tuesday night's Chopped, where Martha Stewart was the judge for this round (she's appearing on the newest season of the long-running cooking competition program). It didn't surprise me that he made it all the way to the final round and impressed the three judges along the way because he is just that good. Sadly, he lost in a very tight battle, but I know what an amazing baker and chef he is and he should be proud that he got that far, not just on the show... but in life.

For more information on Huascar and his location, click here.

 

5 Potential Headliners for World Pride in New York City Next Year

As someone who resides in The Big Apple, I can already tell you that the excitement around this city hosting World Pride in 2019 is already building and we haven't even had our own pride yet this year (next weekend). 

Yes, NYC is the first domestic city in the United States to host World Pride. It's extra special as 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, so we sort of feel obliged to make it that much more incredible and best previous cities like Madrid and Toronto in the process (no shade).

This year's NYC pride headliner is Kylie Minogue, which is fabulous and she would be a wonderful addition for next year's should she decide to come back. But let's get down to the brass tax: World Pride 2019 needs several amazing headliners as we want this to be something we truly never forget. One simply isn't enough.

This is also something that people from all around the world will be flying in for, so the international presence will need to be felt on some level with the people who will perform. That being said, here are 5 artists (err, 6) who I think would be an absolute thrill to have at World Pride next June.

Ricky Martin: We've seen one of our own perform at sold out stadiums all over the world, and that heat that he brings in all of his performances can easily translate to the stage that will be World Pride. 

Madonna/Lady Gaga: Y'all want a gag? Get these two to perform... separately, and together. Chances are Gaga will more than likely be there, given that she's from New York, but to have both these ladies who are massive LGBTQ icons under one roof would almost be too good to be true. 

Jennifer Lopez: J. Lo, similar to Ricky, knows how to put on a show. She's captivating the minute she hits the stage, and she's adored by the gay community. Just like Gaga, she's a fellow New Yorker, and would make our city proud with one of her fierce performances.

Sam Smith: One of our own, is cute, and can sing like no other. He would be perfect for a part during pride where we are waving our lighters back and forth while singing along to "Stay with Me".

Beyonce: Take what she did at Coachella but with an LGBT angle. Think about it. You're welcome.

This was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject. 

 

 

 

 

Is Calling Your Lover 'Daddy' on Father’s Day Weird?

Father's Day is coming up this Sunday, June 17th. It's traditionally a day where people celebrate the father in their lives, whether that be their actual dad, uncle, grandfather, and so on and so forth.

But does this also give gay men a reason to call their lover "daddy" on this national holiday (perhaps renaming it "National Daddy's Day"?) Furthermore, is it an excuse to celebrate it as well even though its technically designed for actual fathers and not a man(men) you are in a relationship/FWB situation with?

The term "daddy" has developed into so much more than a man's chronological age when it comes to them being put into this category. Recent studies have found that it is more of a state of mind, as well as other factors that include sexual positions, looks, and more. 

Outside of that, can you actually celebrate Father's Day with a man (or men) you call daddy? HUD App, a casual dating app with an honest approach to online dating, recently conducted a survey of 1,000 users on their use of pet names - or nicknames given by people to those who they have sex with, in relation to this question. 

This included a separate section strictly for men who identify as gay or bisexual. The first question they asked were "what do you think of people calling their partners daddy, papi, or papa?" The results were broken down into this:

  • 34.7 percent said "I like it."
  • 28.4 percent said "If my partner wanted to..."
  • 28.4 percent said "No thanks, not my style."
  • 8.4 percent said "Strictly in the bedroom."

The second question revolved around what pet name gay or bisexual men call their partner most often.

  • 52.6 percent said "Babe."
  • 29.5 percent said "I don't use pet names."
  • 11.6 percent said "Boo or Bae."
  • 2.1 percent said "Mommy, Momma or Mami."
  • 2.1 percent also said "Daddy, Papa or Papi."

It's interesting that so many men agree with people calling their partners any form of the word "daddy" yet so little of us actually use it. 

Do you plan on celebrating Father's Day with the "daddy" in your life?

 

 

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