Mickey Keating's picture

Why Do Older Men Go For Younger Guys?

Why Do Older Men Go For Younger Guys?


What Do They See In Us?

DADDY! Alright, so like many of us – I’m pathetically single. I’m not certain how it happened – perhaps I’m just clinically insane. However, crazy or not, I’m a firm believer in dating often and damnit do I! Before you drop your jaw, no one stated dating means sleeping with someone…trust me, there’s cobwebs in my Netherlands, so you won’t see me showcasing on Instagram. Moreover, I’ve noticed I actually do have a type: Older. Yes, I’m a middle-aged, almost retired twink who has some daddy issues. I find older gentlemen, first of all, incredibly attractive and there is a spark about their wisdom I find magnetic. Of course, nothing much more than a fling has occurred between an older man and I during my mature dating life, but I’m still holding out for a hero. What I do find interesting, is I’m almost never denied a date. Career, goals, and physical appearance set aside: Why is a man about a decade older than me more than willing to wine and dine my peers and me? Is there something wrong with the older generation of the gay community?


Okay, don’t get me wrong – I’m a catch – as are many of my peers who fall in my same age group. I have a collective group of friends, most of whom are also attracted to older men. Don’t worry, we aren’t fighting over the same pack of silver foxes – there are plenty of daddys – to go around. Yet, I look around at my gaggles of gals as we call one another and cannot help but wonder…what do the older men we date find attractive in us? I cannot speak for everyone, but I absolutely adore a man who is more intelligent than me and can lead me into some perspective. Call me a damsel in over-dramatic, Millennial distress. My friends and I obsess over reality television, hot celebrity topics, and technology. While we all have particular aspects which make us important, such as creativity and talent, we’re all a bit similar growing up in the 90s and have gotten to express ourselves as our maturing era was more or less accepted by mainstream culture. Our suitors, however, have likely lived a completely opposite life.


One of the fellow Instinct Contributors wrote an article believing Millennials should treat older gentlemen better. I was hypnotized by the article, as I have witnessed both sides of the spectrum. However, I feel as if Millennials are throwing themselves at the older generation almost for a rescue! While on dates with mature, accomplished men; I can’t help but ask: What would you see in someone my age? Whatever the reason, I’m absolutely thrilled, as I’m on a date with someone who I’m eyeballing and undressing somewhere in my mind.


Is there a reason the gay community tends to be attracted to someone from a different generation?


This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

Comments

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Maybe they are looking for more security and stability. I am also with an older guy and have never been happier. I look at the inside though. The outside will fade away anyway :). There is a large gay community and because of that I also added a section on my website https://presspink.com. It's possible to search by looks, age, etc. Hopefully it can be helpful to the visitors :)!

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I'm 62, in great shape, own a hugely successful company, live in a custom-built contemporary home, and have been with my husband for 40 years. Younger men are constantly attracted to both of us. We have welcomed several into our bed, and have mentored many, many more. Sex has always been hot, but not as hot as with my husband, the love of my life. Maybe all these boys help keep BOTH of us young!

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I am 70 and have always been attracted to younger men.  My age group preference is 30-50, not set in stone.  I'm not into the Daddy/Son scene.  I like younger men because I like a firm body next to me.  I also like giving a younger man security and protection which I can provide.  I want a younger man who is his own man and not entirely reliant upon me.  

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Of course, due to AIDS there are many fewer gay men in my age bracket (50-60) than in others. This means I must consider men in other age cohorts . . . whats the big deal?

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I don't know why I like guys...I just do...it's how I'm wired.

I'm 55 and like guys 20s to 30s...again, I don't know...I just do...it's how I'm wired.

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I have a wide range of friends. There are some senior citizen neighbors I love spending time with, including an older gay man who thinks I’m young (I’m 55). He’s stylish and sophisticated, very literary and loves opera. We often go to the Met live in HD broadcasts. A 23 year old young gay man joins us too. He’s handsome with all sorts of cute traits. Do I have an old man crush on him? Yes. When we went on vacation together, did I get a bit excited when he   walked around in nothing but a towel? Yes. If I did not have a partner, might I pursue a relationship with either? Not so sure. In the end I think I’d see myself too much like a father to my younger friend and too much like a care taker to my older friend. I may be attracted to both, but the boundaries make the friendships endure.

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I'm 63 and men my age tend to bore not all but many are just bitter jaded old queens. I dont think or on occasion act any differently than I did when I was 30. I am mostly atrracted to guys 25 to 38 mentally as well as physically. Just the way it is.

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Volumes could be written about why some older gay men prefer younger men...and some older straight men prefer younger women.  I think it's a deeply embedded instinctual response, even if there is no possibility of breeding -- or the desire to breed -- healthy progeny and continue the species.

As for younger preferring older, I think that is more a matter of seeking security and experience.

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Older men are looking for guys who are still good in bed. It’s sex, make no mistake and the impression of keeping “young”. This is part of gay culture and men start seeing younger guys and what I’ve seen is that they usually finish broke and alone. There are exceptions of course but the majority go through a lot of drama for some dick. If you’re looking for a long term relationship better off looking  someone your own age and this applies to all groups. If it’s about having fun, it’s ok to go young. At this point of my life and btw it’s always been about finding love and sex and avoiding drama especially if the price is a piece of ass. Thank you but No thank you

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I am 50, my partner is 34.  I have always been attracted to younger guys when I was 46 I was with a 16-year-old (don't ask) then at 48 with a 19 yr old, 21 yr old.   OK, so I was a bit extreme at one point, but the fact is I was attracted to them, sexually but also because of the fact they knew how to have fun, something I had missed whilst getting older.  The sexual attraction was shallowly about their tight smooth skin, pronounced jawlines, long necks.  However, I was never bothered about fit lads, I preferred the skinny lads, geeky types.  They were my "type" and even now, they still turn my head as I pass one.

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Men dating younger men is a part of Gay culture. It has been for thousands of years! Another + to being gay! 

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I am 53 but most people peg me as mid to late 30s. My best friend, who is straight, is 29. I go fr younger guys because most people my age seem like daddies to me and can't keep up physically.

CastleSF's picture
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To each his own but Gosh it is most distasteful that so many old men unabashedly profess their lust for guys 25, 30 or 40 years younger. You have to wonder if this is all about power and control over inexperienced and unsuspecting young men. 

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Gosh.  That’s got to be the most uninformed, prejudiced, juvenile thing I’ve ever heard.  People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.  Grow up or get out and see the world buddy

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It’s not about lust. It’s a mutual attraction. We don’t expect you to understand something that is not a part of you as we don’t expect a straight person to understand an LGBT person. 

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I am 70 and lived in the states all my life.  I hadn't had sex in so long I was a "born again virgin"  Then I moved to Mexico. I tend to like people much younger than my self.  I lived in Rosarito/Tijuana area for 5 years and 9 out of 10 people that contacted me wanted money,"for taxi fare".   Then four months ago I moved to another city in Mexico,  Since then  I have had more young people approach me, on one of the apps, as young as 18.  They don't want money, just sex. 

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And your help in getting a green card.  Duh!

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I have always liked the same age group: 20-25. I mean, I will date outside that group but, since 16 or so, that's been the age range I have liked. I'm now 40 and still prefer that group.

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Me too!

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I always new I’m gay.  When I became sexually active at the age of 11 years, I had and continue to like younger guys.  Over the years, the guys (18-30) whom I was attracted to lost their sex appeal when they got older at the age of 35-40 or more.  Now, I am 72 but still love those beautiful young guys with a preference for the 17-25.  I cannot explain my preference.

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Same here feel must be a really good reason why l still unwanted unmarried and  the reason its l prefer 10 or 15 yrs younger than me its a sad cause lm almost 43 yrs wishing and wating for the love of my life to sparkle and join me on this last tracks on this album lts been 11 yrs single.

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I don't know why but I'm 63 and and almost inundated but I date primarily men who are in their early forties

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